On the Fifth Day

One of the reasons I love December so much is that this is my birthday month. When I was little I used to wish that I had been born on Christmas Day. Why not? Celebrate my birthday along with Jesus AND get twice as many birthday presents. As I grew older, I was surprised to learn that most people who have a birthday on Christmas feel short-changed, as a matter of fact, most people who have their birthday in December feel short-changed.

I was never made to feel that way. Even though my brother, Greg's, birthday was just days away from mine, we were never given combination celebrations or given the birthday/Christmas present present. My day was always special...well except for college when my birthday always fell on finals week so I had to wait to celebrate with friends until the last final was in the books.

But, otherwise, I loved that my birthday was mixed with the festivities of Christmas. Added to that is the fact that December in California is generally a very beautiful month. The morning air is cool and crisp, the skies are usually blue. If the rain comes, it's usually for a day or two, making for beautiful blue skies afterwards.

For me, this is a special birthday. After all the struggles of the past few months, I'm especially happy to celebrate this birthday. Sure I had to work, but I was able to work from home. Most importantly, I'm able to enjoy life again.

At lunchtime, I found myself at the DMV, having received a renewal notice in the mail in early October advising me that I needed to renew my license in person because they wanted an updated photo and my thumbprint. At the time I received the notice and for days after, I was in no condition to even think about the process so I postponed making my appointment. Suddenly it was now or never. The thought did cross my mind to just go another day, but I was afraid that going late would require me to take a written test, which I did not want to study for.

So there I stood in the long line of idiots who didn't make an appointment, hoping for the best. Thankfully, the wait time wasn't long and I was back home, at work in less than an hour and a half.  While I was there, I snapped this photo. Would have taken more, but I forgot my phone wasn't on silent and when camera snapped, the man sitting on the chair closest to me, quickly looked up and kept looking in my direction. My number was called while I was waiting for him to calm down so that was that.

After work, Brie and I went to get our nails done. I opted for a snowflake look which I was so happy with.

In between it all I felt so blessed with text messages, Facebook posts, phone calls and Instagram messages from family and friends who sent their love and well wishes. I was especially touched to have so many of Brie's friends sending me love.

After a lovely dinner with mom, Brie and I headed off to the store to shop for a special friend who has a birthday tomorrow. When we got back home, Brie and I went to the mirror to confirm what I had suspected...over the last few months, I've shrunk about three inches.

I am now officially, a little old lady :)

Happy birthday to me!

The Third

It's December third. The interior of the house is decorated, the tree is up and the first batch of Christmas cookies have been baked. This is the time when I feel like I'm teetering on the edge. I've been slowly chipping away at my nice list, but haven't wrapped a single gift.

It's now when I want time to both pass so we can get to Christmas eve service and slow down so I can make the magic last. The reality is, it doesn't matter what I want, time keeps passing. The day is over and I take stock at what I've done and in many ways it wasn't enough. I know once again, I came up short.

Today the Christmas devotional that I was reading referenced Luke 1:13-18 where Gabriel appears before Zechariah and tells him that God heard the prayers of Zechariah and his wife, Elizabeth and that they would be blessed with a son. For years, Zechariah and his wife prayed, asking for a child and now the answer was yes.

Zechariah responds by questioning whether this could be true. Isn't that like us? We pray asking God for favor. And yet when he answers, we don't believe. It's a little crazy when you think about it. We can pray for years for a miracle. Why? Because we know that God has the power to make it so. We have faith and hope, but even after we experience other miracles and other evidence of God's power, we still doubt.

I believe. I believe that a Savior was born. I believe he was the Lamb of God, our mighty counselor. I believe he died and rose again. I believe he died for me and for you, whoever may be reading this. I believe he cares for each one of us.

I believe that God has the power to heal my mouth sores and make it so that they don't come back again. I believe God can heal me completely. I believe that tomorrow, I can get up out of bed, my back straight and strong. I ask this of him every day. Why? Because I know that one day, my angel may appear to me and tell me that God has heard my prayers. And when that happens, I pray that I simply fall upon my knees, praising God.

O Come All Ye Faithful

As a Christian, it is difficult for me to comprehend how anyone could celebrate Christmas without being a believer in Christ. It may be wrong, but I've not had an issue with the whole Santa thing. I have had an issue with the whole "holiday" thing. 

I understand that there are those who sadly don't believe in God or in Jesus as the son of God so it would be much to expect them to understand. Church this time of year because even more special. Singing Christmas songs with the rest of the congregation, lighting advent candles, anticipating the arrival of a baby boy who would become our salvation is what makes Christmas all that it is. 

It is important to me to find a gift that is worthy of God. Every year, I fall short of this goal. Here it is the night of the 2nd of December and I'm totally clueless as to what I can give as a gift. Yes, there are the feel good deeds, giving to the Salvation Army, selecting a name or two from the Christmas Tree, serving a meal at the homeless shelter, but it just doesn't seem enough. 

This year, I want to be like the magi, relentless in my search for God. Giving everything I have to find Jesus and bringing the best of what I have as a gift. I have 22 more days to figure out what that is. I have a star to follow and a gift to give. And while I celebrate Christmas, I don't want lose sight of that.

Fa la la la la

One of the local radio stations plays non-stop Christmas music a week before Thanksgiving all the way up to Christmas day. You'll never hear any complaint from me. I love Christmas music, especially of the Christian nature.

O Holy Night

Silent Night

Away in the Manger

Mary Did You Know

What Child is This

I am a bit picky about my Christmas music. I love the old classics sung by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Nat Cole, Johnny Mathis, Bing Crosby. I also love the renditions by the current Christian bands, such as Third Day, Mercy Me and Casting Crowns. Both Trisha Yearwood and Kathy Mattea have Christmas albums that I listen to over and over again. I also love carols, such as Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I love driving around with Christmas music playing on the radio. Last year Christmas Eve, the day was perfect for the top to be down. I had Christmas music blaring on the radio as the air whipped around me. It was as close to a one-horse open sleigh as I had ever come. I could have driven all day just soaking up the feeling.

As the season begins, I feel like I can't get enough of Christmas music and as the days grow closer to Christmas, it's hard to imagine that it will all come to an end. It makes me sad when the music stops on Christmas night so I continue to play Christmas music on my iPod until the New Year. And somehow by then I'm ready to let go until next year.

On this first day of December, it made me happy to drive to Palm Desert to visit the kids, Christmas music playing on the radio. Over three hours there and back, singing along to Christmas music. It was a perfect start to the month. I'm hoping and praying that the next 24 days are equally as festive.

Trimming the Tree

Growing up, a real tree was a must. The year we moved to Puerto Rico, my parents bought one of those silver tinsel trees which was better than nothing, but was no substitute for the real thing. It was straight out a Charlie Brown Christmas. Not the tree that Charlie Brown picked out, but one of those gaudy ones that the rest of the gang wanted him to get. 

In our house, my mom or dad would turn on the Christmas tree lights in the morning. It was so wonderful walking into the living room, half asleep, the lights twinkling in the early morning. It made getting up for school those last few weeks before Christmas vacation very easy to do. I would hurriedly get dressed and eat breakfast so I could spend some time, draping tinsel carefully over the green branches. Such wonderful memories. They always come back to me at the start of the Christmas season. 

I hope we always can get a real tree because the fragrance of the pine makes it so special.  I love how it fills the hallway as I make way downstairs. Even now I still turn on the lights in the morning. The lights in the morning are almost more magical to me than the lights at night. 

For many years, we would buy a tree that was still bound with twine because it was easier to get home and into the tree stand. There was that moment when we would unwind the twine, not sure if the tree would be lopsided or barren on one side. Somehow we always got lucky.

This year, we got the tree a little earlier than normal. We usually get it the first weekend of December, but one of Brie's friend's dad offered to help us get the tree. I could have cried. Brie and Sierra spent quickly got the lights up and Brie spent some time today adding bulbs and ornaments. 

I wasn't really sure how I was going to get the house decorated and somehow it's coming together. 

It's going to be a good Christmas.

Finding Joy

I love the Christmas season. I love almost everything about it...

The colors whether they be red and white, blue and silver, gold and green,

The lights, inside the house and outside,

Decorating,

The fragrance of the tree, fireplaces, apple cider and baked goods fresh out of the oven,

Baking cookies, a different kind every week,

Giving of gifts,

The excitement in the air

Christmas carols,

Christmas eve service,

The birth of a Savior.

I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it this year. But thanks to Brie and her friends, the house is almost all decorated and the tree is up. I'm finding joy that I didn't expect.

It's a Long Story

It's amazing how quickly life can turn around and how long it can take to get it right again. Not too long ago, I was asked to share what was the best thing that happened in 2012. My answer easily was June. Brie graduated, Aurora was born and we went to Italy where I felt the need to pinch myself on a daily basis. 

By the end of July, it was as if June had never happened. August slipped into September, September into October, October into November. I felt helpless. At times, even hopeless. Those were my low points. 

After months of just feeling like I was hanging on, for the past few days, I have finally been feeling like my old self. Today, I felt hungry. I mean really hungry. Hungry for food. Hungry for life. 

And I've finally been taking pictures again. I mean, really taking pictures. Excited about the light. Excited about the things I see. I even managed to get down on the ground today and take a picture. I even managed to get back up. Just a few of the photos I took over the past two days.