It's a Four Letter Word

For over a month now, I've been trying to get my creative emergence on. Some days I don't get anything done, others I put a layer of paint on a canvas, but at this rate I won't have any product to open my shop until 2016...I kid you NOT!

I watch the children in envy. At this early age, they are the epitome of creative emergence. Give them a few paint brush, some paint and a blank piece of paper and in no time at all, they are presenting you with a masterpiece.

There is no second-guessing, no obsessing about whether the blue should be placed to the left or the right of the green, or if the yellow is too close to the blue. When do we lose our creativity to fear. Fears of making a mistake. Fears of what others may think. Fears of not being good enough.

Fear...it's a four-letter word.

On the Cusp

I may not be able to do all the things I used to be able to do or do all the things I want to do, but somehow I have the strength to do the things that are really important. At the end of the month, I was able to go to my nephew's web exhibit at the LA Art Institute.

It's so exciting to witness someone on the cusp of living their dream.

I think it doesn't matter the age that you are once you figure out what your dreams are, I think it matters that you follow them.

I love the courage he has shown in following his dreams. I believe in all of us lives some form of creativity. I believe those who tap into it either as a form recreation or as a job live much more fulfilled lives.

After the exhibition, we went to a most fabulous place called The Counter for lunch. I wasn't sure what to expect. Man oh man, it was delicious. You could order your own burger or select from one of their recommendations.

Mine was so amazing that I salivate every time I look at the picture I took of my burger.

Cooking, to me, is a form of creativity. Which is why I enjoy taking pictures of food that I feel is well prepared.

Print Those Pictures!

A few years ago I had a good system nailed down. A system that worked for me. It had all the qualities of KISS (keep it simple stupid). Every month, I would download the photos I edited to Costco, order prints and then put them in a photo album. Can't get much simpler than that.

Sometime in the last year and a half, I got off track and I'm kicking myself. KICKING myself.

In March I finally did something I've been wanting to do since I started taking pictures with my Hipstamatic App in September of 2011. I ordered 4 x 4 prints from their Print Lab. I am SO happy that I did. I love, love, love the results.

My plan was to order a set of them each month so as not to break the bank. I didn't follow my plan in April or May. I might not have done so in June either except that I read a really good article about prints. I wish I could remember where I read it because I want to give the author credit.

The author was recalling a time when he and his family gathered at the house of a relative that had passed away to go through the things that were left behind. This relative had boxes of family photos and they had a wonderful time going through the pictures together laughing and reminiscing over the memories the photos touched. It made him realize the importance of printing pictures. "No one is going take the time to go through a box of CDs the way they do a box of photos".

So sad because it's so true. I look at the photos I've printed, at the photos I've included in scrapbooks and there is much more of a connection then the ones on the computer screen. It's silly I know, but I want my grandchildren and hopefully, my great grandchildren to see the world I see.

I think about the talent of Vivian Meier and know with great certainty that had her pictures lived only on her computer, she might not have made the impact that she made today. I'm not saying I'm the next Vivian Meier, but I'm saying this thing I do will, without a doubt, be lost when the next big technology wave breaks through unless I take the time to print my pictures.

Printing my photos also helps cultivate creative emergence. Some of them I simply put in a plain old fashion photo album. Others, I add to a scrap book. And still others, I put into a photo journal. Touching the photos, holding them, combining them with my handwriting, placing them on paper, stirs something inside me that a digital copy just doesn't do. The digital copy is too momentary. too fleeting. It's a flash in the pants.

If you haven't printed any photos in a while, I would encourage you do to so. Print them, put them in frame, an album or even in a box. You.will.not.be.sorry.

Dream a Little Dream

When I was in high school and college, I secretly or maybe not so secretly wanted to be a writer. A poet to be exact. It was one of the times in my life that I actually put pen to paper on a regular basis. It probably makes sense that it was one of the bleakest stages of my life. One of the poems I felt the most proud of, at the time, went like this:

I feel my defeat
like a cold and windless day
Another dream has died
before the finish line

I had a large Hallmark photo album that was dedicated to my senseless prose, my words carefully etched into the album in fancy calligraphy. To accentuate the despair of this poem, I poetically decided to forego the flowing lines of calligraphy and instead use clippings from magazines and newspapers which were always in supply at our house. It was a true peace of art.

The poem and all the care I took in adding it to the album, pretty much summed up my life at the time which was the life of a chicken. I wasted too much of my time on things that didn't build my creativity. I wish I could go back in time and shake that girl, make her see the talent that she might have had had she believed in herself more.

I've always been dabbling. Dabbling in poetry, then in calligraphy so I would create poetry books that spoke to the heart both visually and emotionally. Dabbling in scrapbooking and paper crafting, dabbling in photography, baking. I guess one could call me Debbie the Dabbler.

And through it all, there has been this ache in my heart. An ache for something more. An ache to write that never has gone away. I fill the void with photography, but even that yearns for something more. I want to put both together and be the artist I've always wanted to be.

Last year I felt it beginning to come together. I was understanding manual mode and even more importantly, seeing the beautiful, glorious light. Most evenings, I would go out exploring with my camera shooting, learning, stretching. I was writing on a consistent basis. I felt like I was on the cusp of breaking out.

The beginning of June 2012 was filled with much joy and promise. Brie's graduation, Aurora's birth and then our trip to Italy. On our flight from Chicago to Italy, American Airlines showed the movie, The Vow. While I wouldn't give the movie accolades, there was a scene in which the husband takes his wife who had amnesia to her art studio as he desperately tries to get her to reconnect with the life she can no longer remember.

As she walked around the studio in wonder, I began to cry. How I longed to be her, giving up the corporate life for her dream. Yes, I know it was just a movie, but I know there are others who truly have walked that path. I could be one of them. But I'm not.

And now I wonder, I am at the cusp of my life, not really knowing how much longer I have. How do I follow my dream? I do it by diligently practicing creative emergence. It will come. It has to. I begin by writing down what I want to do:

1. Photo projects. I want two or three photo projects that I work on which will allow my photography skills to grow. There are three I'm thinking of:
1. Photograph the ones I love. I want them to see themselves as I see them. 
2. Street photography. Build film skills and confidence in shooting by honing my street photography. I want others to see what I see in the world, the beauty in unexpected places.
3. Black & White photography. I took a B&W photography class last year. While the class itself wasn't what I expected, it still served a purpose by getting me to shoot more in B&W. When I look back at the pictures I've taken recently, it the B&W that capture my attention and even more so, my imagination
2. Write. These blogs are good fire starters, but really they should just be kindling, something that gets me started to something more. I should have had a four alarm blaze going by now, but it will come. It has to. These are the three ideas I have
1. Photojournal. I have this idea to take the photo project of the ones I love and write to them why I love them, what I want for them or what they mean to me. Then I will turn this into a photo exhibit. And no one reading this better steal my idea from me or I'll put a hex upon you...okay, not really, but may God curse you...okay, not really, but just to be safe, don't do it!
2. Story in the Picture. This is a blog I started after seeing an idea that someone else had where they collaborated with another photographer who took street shots and the other person would pen a story about what was going on in the picture. It reminded me of when we were in college and a friend and I would make up stories about strangers, such as the time we were waited upon by a pregnant woman who appeared to be at week 50. I wanted to try and copy her idea, but instead I'm telling real stories about what is going on in or around the picture. Not as exciting, but the words flow much easier and I do not want a curse or hex upon me.
3. I would tell you, but I'm not ready. Not that anyone really reads this blog anyway, but just by the off-chance that someone does, I'm just not ready to put my last idea out there.
3. Arts & Craft. I still long to put things together, making beautiful things to surround me and, yes, leave behind for those i love.
1. Photojournal. This is combining my printed Hipstamatic prints with thoughts about the photos, such as why I love the picture, how I felt when I took the picture, why I took the picture, you get the picture. 
2. Mini-scrapbooks. I think my days of big scrapbook projects are over, but I have at least a dozen blank mini-photo albums that need some attention.

I will get there. If I work on it a little (or a lot) every day. It will come. It has to.

Cultivating Creative Emergence

It was a wonderful message at church a few Sunday's ago. A different message, but a wonderful one all the same. It was the message I needed to hear delivered at the moment I needed to hear it, delivered by Don Perini who used to be the High School Pastor and who is now a professor at Cornerstone College. His lesson was on Creative Emergence.

I'm not sure what brought on the message from Don, but I'm glad he spoke. I'm glad I was there to hear it. Most of what he shared has been on my mind for years, but it's been speaking deeply to my heart, too, for the last year. It's the need to write, to photograph, not in a haphazard way, but in a way that says who I am and what my purpose is.

Internally I've struggled with the whole creativity thing. A part of me feeling that I can be creative without doing it for a living and another part of me that wants to do nothing all day long but my craft. Realistically, I need my job. Thankfully, I like my job, sometimes even love it. There is something to be said for doing what you love, just for the plain and simple joy of it. In other words, just because art, music, dance, or whatever creative outlet you have isn't your day job, that doesn't mean it still doesn't play an important part of your life.

I've long believed that our creative nature comes from God. We are made in his image. Not that we look like him, but he made us with his characteristics. Since God is the first and greatest creator and all our gifts come from him, then it stands to reason that creativity resides in all of us. Something Don said made total and perfect sense, we create not to earn a living, but to glorify God. David is a wonderful example of this. He was a King, a soldier, a ruler and still, he practiced creative emergence with his Psalms and his heart.

That's what I want. I may never write the best selling novel or sell my photos to the masses, but I don't really need to. I just need to do it for my own joy and for his glory. The point is, I just need to do it. The point is, if you're reading this and it speaks to your heart, too, then you just need to do it, too.

Don't let the in consequential things stop you. If you think you don't have time, consider that you do. What is that speaks to your heart? Now, why aren't you spending a little time each day or each week doing it? What is it that you are spending time on? Is everything else really a priority? If you are like me, you may be watching too much TV, or spending too much time online, whatever it may be, you likely have at least 30-minutes a day to do that thing that speaks to your heart.

What are you waiting for? It's time to get to it.