The Truth

The light coming into my room in the early morning hours has been so lovely. When the shades are drawn it looks gray and dank outside so it's always a pleasant surprise when the shades are opened and there is sunlight streaming through.

It's one of the many things for which I can give thanks to God. The importance of thanks has been an on-going theme in my morning devotional. It's amazing how much focusing on thanks helps lift the spirit. A few mornings ago, as I was reading my devotional, I was struck with the realization that my thanks to God were superficial.

Sure I thank God when I reading my devotional and bible verse(s) in the morning, but throughout the day, my acknowledgements of the treasured tidbits become few and far between. A better job is needed on my part to continually be in communication with God, thanking him for all the joy he is putting in my path.

This is the day that the Lord has made

For this is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it. It feels so good to say these words because they are so true.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

In 2012 I traveled pretty extensively...Here's a little list, in no particular order...

• Italy

• Austin

• Boston

• 
  

• Sacramento (and all the little trips to Old Towns)

• San Francisco (April 2012)

• San Francisco (not once, but twice!)

 

• San Diego/La Jolla

• Monterey

In 2014, my world shrank considerably and thus far I've been able to travel to the following...

• Phoenix (spring training for Dodgers)

• Sacramento

• Boo Hoo Hoo

Trying to work out a trip for my last big hurrah...or something that will kick start me into spreading my horizons.

Wondering where 2015 will take me. Somewhere over the rainbow. I hope.

It's a Four Letter Word

For over a month now, I've been trying to get my creative emergence on. Some days I don't get anything done, others I put a layer of paint on a canvas, but at this rate I won't have any product to open my shop until 2016...I kid you NOT!

I watch the children in envy. At this early age, they are the epitome of creative emergence. Give them a few paint brush, some paint and a blank piece of paper and in no time at all, they are presenting you with a masterpiece.

There is no second-guessing, no obsessing about whether the blue should be placed to the left or the right of the green, or if the yellow is too close to the blue. When do we lose our creativity to fear. Fears of making a mistake. Fears of what others may think. Fears of not being good enough.

Fear...it's a four-letter word.

It Took the Cake!

Yesterday I spent the day in as close to a catatonic day that I ever want to experience. I would much rather never ever experience it again. From the time I awoke to the time I closed my eyes for the last time, I was in tears. Not the running down your face tears, but the sobbing so loudly at times that someone would come to see how I was doing.

I didn't want to admit it at first, but one of the reasons for the breakdown was likely due to the change of medication. On Thursday, my doctor and I agreed that I would cut down on not only the steroid (one pill in total to 1/2 pill) but the morphine, too (2 pills in total to 1 pill in total). After some discussion with my mom and dad, we agreed it was probably too much for me and I likely was going thru some sort of withdrawal.

Mom is also not convinced that I took the correct dosages in the morning. That could well be. Regardless, I was a gigantic mess for most of the day. Crying because I was an emotional mess, crying because my neck and leg hurt, crying because I couldn't get comfortable, crying because everyone was worried about me, crying, crying, crying.

We decided to go back to the dosage of medication that I was on and see what happens. So far so good. I'm still feeling a little odd, but the pain is gone (hip hip!) and I haven't dropped a single tear today. On the plus side, around 9pm, Brie came to my room which was at first strange since I thought she left several hours before then for a party at Janae's.

Turned out Patrick had to work overtime and she had been waiting all this time in the car for him. I felt so badly for her...and him. He must be so tired. At any rate, I was still have trouble processing everything in my brain, but I was able to fake my way through it all. I suggested that we do something to pass the time and help her relax. She surprisingly agreed so she helped straighten my room and put together a shopping list for Target.

In what could be called divine intervention, he texted her, just as we were finishing up the shopping list. By this time, it was almost 10pm. I was pretty tired, but happy that she was happier than she was when she first walked in. As a reward, she brought me in a little late night snack...a yummy yummy cupcake from Max's birthday party!

I must say, it took the cake!!

These Two...

These two, as my grandmother used to say, "are full of the dickens." My, oh, my, today they took the cake and were on a sugar high almost the whole day long. It was hard not to laugh at their antics as they kept their daddy on his toes for most of the day.

That's the way it goes sometimes. It did make me laugh when we got back from the doctors and the two of them were squished together on the couch, covered with blankets, surrounded by a boatload of toys, happy grins on their faces as they announced that they in a fort that made them intervisible (no typo here).

Oh, how I love these two. Intervisible or not!

Life is But a Dream

Been living in dreamland for the last few days. My brain doesnt seem to be in sync with my vision making everything I see and feel like a question.

Am I really here?

Is this a real conversation?

Is this person sitting here in front of me?

Am I still alive or is this heaven? (It better not be heaven because I'm hoping for soemthing better!)

One thing that keeps me going are the grandbabies who keep me laughing and smiling...

My Little Interruption

These little hands are part of the reason my little shop will be opening about a week late. How can I help myself when it brightens my day just to hear his sweet little voice say, "Hey, hey, grandma, grandma!"

At this point, I'll take all the interruptions I can get :)