The Evening Sky

The evening sky...It never fails to take my breath away, to draw me closer to the Lord. I wonder about all those years that went by that I missed the beauty of the moment. Even when I know that tomorrow will bring another sunset, I still can't help but want to capture the one that is before me. Even when I know that no camera will bring it the true justice that my eyes see, I still continue to try.

Reliving the Moment

It was the day that I had longed for throughout the end of 2012. Just one day where I felt some semblance of normal. I had hoped and prayed, but I was beginning to believe that day would never come.

And then, when I least expected it, God answered my prayers. The day started with rain and such gray cloudy skies that I half expected that we would call off our plans to get together with the girls. Much to my delight, no one was backing out. By the time everyone arrived at the house, the clouds had dissipated and the sun was in its glory.

The girls had planned for us to go to McClain's, but Denise had a better idea...a trip to The Langham, a beautiful hotel nestled in the hills of San Marino. First we had a leisurely lunch...

Followed by a walk along the grounds of the hotel. The girls were laughing and happy, as were us moms, thankful to be spending time together.

It wasn't until sometime during the walk that I realized, I was not limping along wondering when I would have a chance to sit down again.

I cry even as I write this so thankful for that day. I wish I could say that the next day I walked unimpeded, but I can say this, every day I am getting stronger. Every day walking is a little easier.

I have hope. And for that I am thankful.

Conversations with Max

Got a call from this little cutie pie yesterday.

The moment he started babbling away, I started to chuckle.

I know he had some very important things to say because he talked almost non-stop. Unfortunately, much of which I couldn't understand.

Not that it mattered because just to hear the sound of his sweet little voice was like music to my ears.

I love being a grandma.

Mi Familia

If there is one thing I wish, it's that our family wasn't separated by so many miles. Except for the years when we were out of state, my childhood was filled with family gatherings almost every weekend. It was rare that a week would go by when we didn't see at least one aunt or uncle.

Which is why it was especially wonderful to spend the first day of 2013 with both my brothers and their families.

I love being a sister. And a sister-in-law.

I love being an aunt. And the fact that we have babies in the house again.

I love the light at my brother's house.

Did I mention that I love having babies around again?

I love wrap around porches.

I love mi familia!

Self Portrait Project Week Two

Last year, I got sucked into several photo challenges. Problem was I had difficulty keeping track and keeping up. At first it was a fun way to drive others to my blog, but ultimately instead of spurring my creativity, it hampered it. 

This year, I plan to have my own 365 project and my own 52 week self portrait project. I had intended in participating in the Now You as a way to network with other photographers, but I procrastinated too long and missed the cut off date. While there is a part of me that's disappointed, there is another part of me that feels free from the need to perform. 

Last night as I relaxed in bed, I took a few self portraits, one of which I feel satisfied enough to be brave enough to post the result. When I look at it, I feel my skin looks thin and stretched out, but it is what it is. It's strange how the camera picks up a reflection of someone I don't know, don't feel. 

Yet there is no denying that over the past four months, I feel I've aged 40 years. Though I don't want to admit it, this is probably the person others see when they look at me. 

Film is Not Dead

Growing up, I never had a decent camera. At an early age, I coveted them. In fifth grade, our church was giving a Brownie camera to the church member who brought the most visitors. I tried as hard as I could to get friends to come so I could win that camera. It never happened.

Finally, in high school, I got a 110 camera which was all the rage, but the quality of prints was subpar. Looking at the size of the negatives, there is no surprise. Try as I might, the photos produced just never came out anything like I had envisioned.

In my early 20's, autofocus, auto-everything 35mm cameras were reasonably priced and gave reasonable results. Drop a canister of film into the camera and snap away. Unless you were a complete idiot, you could be guaranteed at least 18 decent exposures out of a roll of 24. Still there was something missing every time I developed a roll of film.

It wasn't until I got my DSLR that I realized what it was. Learning about apertures, shutter speeds, ISOs, exposures and lights has just made me love photography even more. I forgot all about film until recently. I feel nostalgic for the graininess and the imperfections. I want to see what I can get from film now that I can apply composition and light to the click of the button.

I started with the Instamatic Fujifilm camera the kids got me for my birthday.

Then I made another commitment by investing in SX-70 Land camera.

And in a wave of nostalgia, I bought some 620 film for my dad's old Argus.

Film is not dead, but it's not cheap either.

Can't wait to see the results.

My Little Family

They are worth every second of the drive to the desert.

Every cent of gas.

I am so blessed by my little family in the desert.