Sunday, September 8, 2013

Ordinary Every Day Beauty

Saturday morning, on the phone with my sister, I was sharing with her my dilemma. After a week in which most of it was spent held captive indoors, in part due to the weather, but in larger part by the failures of my own body, I wasn't sure how to best approach the day. Should I stay in and rest for one more day in hopes of continued healing or should I move my body, willing it back to health?

Sometime in the middle of the week, I had already waved my white flag, giving up my 365 photo project, not just once, but twice. I would have thought it would have mentally defeated me, but I've been unhappy with my output anyway so I was willing to give up quality over quantity. I don't know that taking a photo each and every day is a necessity to anything but my own over-inflated ego.

The inability to feel that I can go out on a photo walk and do what I love to do grieves me the most. I miss moving effortlessly without thought the most. I went to bed on Friday, resigned. I awoke not knowing what to expect. I gingerly pulled myself out of bed, turning back to grab my glasses from my nightstand. It was then I saw the light peeking into the little corner by my bed calling to my senses in a way I had never seen before. 

How many times had I walked from my room without a second glance at that little corner? I grabbed my camera, with a burst of energy and childlike excitement that I had not felt in more than two weeks. For a moment my aches and pains were forgotten as I moved around trying to capture the beauty that I saw before me. 

I still long for healing enough for a trip to the streets of New York where I can click to my heart's content, but I must not forget there is ordinary, every day beauty in front of me, if I stop long enough to open my eyes. 

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