Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Long Walk

After a week off, you would think I would ready. But I'm not. I want another week off. I want this to be completely done. I know I should be thankful. Thankful for my insurance. Thankful for the care I receive. Thankful that compared to other options, this one isn't so bad.

After a long day at the office, a long, slow drive home, the last thing I want is to drag myself to the lab for a blood test. If anyone asks, I act as though is no big deal, because that's the truth. It's not a big deal. It's one little prick with a needle. It doesn't hurt, it just feels uncomfortable as the vials are changed. It's just a quick two minutes and it's over and done. So why do I hate it so much?

Because I know it's just the beginning? The precursor to tomorrow when the chemo flows through my port into my blood. Where fatigue will later set in and possibly nausea. Yes, my body is "tolerating" it well, but the truth is, sometimes my brain doesn't. Tonight was one of those nights.

Tonight, it was a long walk to the lab.

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