Dear Westin Rancho Mirage,
You're a lovely resort with beautiful grounds, spacious, tastefully decorated rooms and friendly employees. I love that you offer fantastic rates through Priceline which I've been able to take advantage of twice now. But $7.55 for a tube of toothpaste is outrageous. For that price, I should get a oral hygienist who brushes my teeth too.
I've fallen in love with a new coffeehouse. Their dark roast brew is nowhere as delicious and steaming hot as yours, but they make a mocha that absolutely rocks my tastebuds. On top of that, they serve it as it should be served if you're drinking it there, in a real mug, not a paper cup. The ambience of the coffee house is so inviting, I love kicking back and enjoying every drop of the liquid goodness. Luckily for you, there is currently only one location, so I'll still be stopping by every morning on my way to the office and perhaps on other occasions, but Saturday or Sundays will belong to Dripp.
We're seriously considering coming to visit you this summer. It's hard to make a commitment when I'm concerned about the amount of walking my body can take, but I'm thinking if we visit one of your islands or a city along the beach, we can do less sightseeing and act more like a local. But if I visit you then it's unlikely that I can take a road trip to the East or Pacific NW like I've been dreaming. What to do? What to do?
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I know that I shouldn't because it seems that you are doing what it is that you're supposed to do. And at least this time you didn't make my hair fall out. So why should I complain? What more do I want? I could do without the nausea and fatigue. Thank you anyway for the job that your doing.
You're what a hamburger is all about.