This morning mom asked me if I was in more pain. More pain than what, I asked. I didn't mean to be facetious. More pain than yesterday? No. I just hadn't taken any Tylenol. More pain than two months ago? Definitely.
There are things I miss about my life. Things I long for. Things for which I haven't given up hope.
I miss walking about without giving a thought to it. To stroll along the beach or the city streets without wondering if I can make it from point A to point B. To just be focused on the surrounding beauty around me.
I miss standing straight and tall. It's so ironic that growing up I wished I were short. In high school it seemed that the small petite girls got the attention. In college, I learned to appreciate the value of being tall. Not that I was ever really tall at 5'6", but more importantly, I wasn't short. With the compression of my spine, not only am I short, but I'm awkwardly curved, too. There are days when I long for my heavenly body.
Yet, even though I'm in pain and long for healing, I'm thankful that I'm not in a dark place. I feel a tremendous sense of trust and peace in God. If I think about the future, I get nervous, but I learn to let it go. I can only take it one day at a time.
Today, I got up, got ready for church, met a friend there and had a good visit at lunch with her afterwards, the weather was gorgeous. All in all it was a good day. That's enough for me.