The night before my mastectomy, my brothers, sister, mom, children and nephew, gathered around me, laying hands upon me, praying for protection, for healing, for mercy. I will never ever forget the peace I felt that night and how thankful I was for the love of such a wonderful family.
Since that time, others come to pray for me. My mom's cousins came shortly after my hip replacement, gathering around me in our living room, sharing with me scripture, words of hope and encouragement and prayers. A co-worker of my mom's came to our house several time to prayer over me, anointing me with oil, as did a good friend of my sister-in-law's when I went to visit in September.
I am in awe of the generosity of such faithful service to God when someone I don't know very well offers to prayer on my behalf. Yesterday, I was blessed by another experience when a friend of my dad's spoke to a men's group at her church to see if they would be willing to pray for me. They were and yesterday I met them during their prayer group where they lay hands on me, praying over me in tongues, anointing me with oil.
From the moment they first began to pray it was like a wave of rushing water surrounding me, their voices speaking different words, but yet all in symphony. My body shook violently at first, not in pain, but shuddering in response to the warfare I felt happening within my body.
I wish I could say that by the time I walked out of the church I was walking normal, completely healed. I was still in some pain, but I did feel stronger and more confident than before. I have no doubt, no doubt, at all that God has the power to heal me. I have no doubt at all that God will heal me, it's just a question of when.
Even as the doctor talked to me on Tuesday explaining that my skeletal structure was very weak, all I could think was God could make it strong again. I felt very much the same thing I felt when the doctors would warn me to get my things in order. The doctors see scans and test results. God doesn't need to see those things to know what's going on in my body. He knows exactly where I need to be touched, where healing needs to occur, what needs to be done. That gives me hope.
Today I felt more confident than I have all week. I moved around more, the tentativeness gone. It still hurt to walk, but the fear that has taunted me since last Thursday was gone. This evening I thought about moving around more, but there was this voice inside me telling me to rest and let the work that God began last night to continue to work. I satisfied myself with a quick stroll around the backyard and have been resting ever since.
I am very hopeful that by the time the next four weeks are up, that I will be strong again, that the doctors will look at me and wonder what in the world happened. Their plan is to make me comfortable, not make me whole. God has other plans. Until then, this time is about being still and listening to God. I need healing in more than one way. It's not just my body that needs work, but my mind and my soul. Might as well get the full makeover. I could use one.
Things for which I'm thankful:
- A lovely lunch at home with Brie today
- A body of Christ who prays so faithfully
- The sound of my mom and dad laughing together yesterday
- A wonderful phone call from Matt this evening
- Feeling stronger both mentally and physically
- A very good night's sleep
- My sister's love
- The support of my co-workers
- A warm shower
- My feet hitting the ground as I got out of bed this morning