Monday, October 28, 2013

Finding Peace

I wish I could say that there weren't times when I feel fear rising over me, threatening to take me under into depths that I don't want to go. I cling to the Word, my hope and my promise as tight as I can, but there are moments when it's hard. Today is one of those days.

The steroid I've been taking has helped. A. Lot. It was initially prescribed for me to take two tablets for five days, once in the morning and once in the evening. It's been an elixir. With it I've been able to forego the Hydrocodone and use Tylenol instead for the little extra aches and pains. Starting yesterday, I was supposed to go down to one tablet in the morning. By 10pm, I could hardly walk. Brie had to come and rescue me, helping me get from the kitchen table to my recliner.

As I sat in shuddering pain, Brie brought me another dose of steroid followed by a chaser of Hydrocodone. I wanted two, but settled for one. I didn't get up again until between 1am and 2am. It's unnerving knowing that without the steroid, I can barely stand. If the episode was designed to scare me, it more than did its job.

The fear carried into the morning. My cellphone remains planted by my side as I pray for the call from the Neurosurgeon to come. In the meantime, I pray that I don't allow the fear to overwhelm. I will be strong in the Lord. He will be my strength. In Him, I shall find peace

Thankful for:

  1. Brie's loving and willing assistance yesterday
  2. Cellphones by my side, just in case
  3. The ability to put my feet on the floor this morning
  4. A job where I can work from home
  5. Knowing that I can give all this to God
  6. Last minute face-timing with Max and Rori
  7. A cool Autumn day
  8. A decent night's sleep even after all the went on
  9. Food in the house
  10. Steroids and pain meds

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